50 Ways to Love Your Lover

Photo Credit: Tim Foster on Unsplash
  1. Be vulnerable in sharing your feelings, not just your thoughts with your spouse.
  2. Stop what you are doing and really listen to your spouse.  Listen with your eyes.
  3. Put down your cell phones during dinner.  Focus on each other.
  4. In the morning ask your spouse what he/she needs most from you that day.
  5. Carve out time in the evening before you are too tired to share the best and the worst of your day.  Comfort and affirm each other.  
  6. Pray for your spouse.
  7. Pray together for each other.
  8. Share your goals, hopes and dreams for your marriage, for your children.
  9. Send non-agenda texts or place phone calls just to check-in and say I love you.
  10. Compliment your spouse on his/her appearance or a project he/she is involved in.
  11. Praise your spouse in front of the children — not for something that he/she did, but for a quality or trait that you admire in him/her.
  12. Show affection with each other, not just at home, but in public as well.
  13. Put down what you are doing and snuggle on the couch together.  In front of the kids is perfect.  
  14. Go to bed together even if you are not tired, ready to do so or have your list all crossed off for the day.
  15. Initiate lovemaking when that is not your typical style.
  16. Play together — with your spouse, your children, and other happily married couples.
  17. Treasure your time together.  Make it a point to make memories together.
  18. Take a break from helping with the homework, TV or dishes and enjoy a sunset.
  19. Dance in the kitchen.
  20. Rake leaves; Play in the leaves and rake them again.
  21. Return to an old favorite parking spot and reminisce.  Celebrate the goodness in each other.
  22. Build a snowman, or a snow fort and have a snowball fight.  Make snow angels.
  23. Surprise your spouse with a planned date night.  Let yourself be spontaneous and really enjoy and appreciate the surprise.
  24. Plan a romantic dinner for the 2 of you after the kids are all tucked into bed.  Prepare and cook it together.
  25. Sip wine or spiked cocoa by a fire.  Make out.  Make love.
  26. Skip the TGIF office party and pick up take-out dinner for the family instead.
  27. Learn a new hobby or sport together.  Take on a new project and accomplish it together (paint a room, put up drywall, refinish a piece of old furniture, create a garden)
  28. Take dance, photography or cooking lessons together.
  29. Turn off the TV and play cards or a board game.
  30. Read a book together and discuss it.
  31. Watch a Romance, Chick Flick, or any movie together and spend time discussing it.  (What character do you most identify?  What inspired you? What surprised you?)
  32. Volunteer together for a community event or serve a meal at a soup kitchen.  Involve the kids if appropriate.
  33. Budget and pay bills together.
  34. Make it a point to sit down together and “de-clutter” the calendar at the beginning of each month.  Carve out time in the margins for the 2 of you.
  35. Help your spouse with a chore that he/she ordinarily would accomplish alone.
  36. Plan menus for the week and go grocery shopping together.
  37. Support and encourage each other in living a healthier lifestyle.  Have a plan and celebrate success — even the little ones.
  38. Work out together at the Gym or go for a power walk with the kids.
  39. Be polite — say Please and Thank you.
  40. Don’t assume — ask.
  41. Ask permission.
  42. Ask for help — don’t demand help.
  43. Show gratitude.
  44. Treat each other with the kindness that you did while dating.
  45. Flirt with each other.
  46. Leave a love note in his/her car.
  47. Wash and detail his/her car.
  48. Fill his/her car with gas.
  49. Figure out each other’s Love Language and be intentional in sharing your love in the way he/she most appreciates it.
  50. Affirm another couple for the way they live their marriage.