In Sickness and in Health… Even During Cold and Flu Season

On our wedding day, we looked deeply into each other’s eyes and promised, among other things, to be true to each other in sickness and in health… all the days of our lives. While the two of us take that vow seriously, we have discovered over the years that it is not always easy. Especially during cold and flu season. Suffice it to say we do not suffer minor illnesses in the same way.

Suck It Up

Karen: Perhaps you have heard the joke that the closest a woman will ever come to knowing what it is like for a man suffering from a common cold is when she is giving birth. [Commence laughter here.] While I really dislike the gross generalization and stereotyping this joke infers, I admit to finding just a little bit of humor in its exaggeration of the different ways people handle illness. As a child, I rarely missed school because of a cold or low-grade fever. I took great pride in going my entire four years of high school with perfect attendance—not to say there weren’t days I should have stayed home! But all six of us kids learned to push through minor illnesses as if they weren’t there. I find myself feeling annoyed and impatient when Scott’s life seems to stop because of a scratchy throat or sneezing and sniffles.

Give In and Let Your Body Heal

Scott: Karen is a trouper when it comes to minor illnesses. She rarely, if ever, lets a cold or allergies stop her from her work. Me, on the other hand… well, let’s just say that I don’t do illness well. While Karen’s joke above is certainly an exaggeration, I will admit that when I am sick, I choose to do nothing but lay around and let rest heal me. This was a point of contention early in our marriage with Karen making such comments as, “When I am sick, I still get on with life,” or “C’mon, you have a cold… you aren’t dying!” I am happy to say that rarely happens today. Karen recognizes my need to heal through rest and I recognize her need to push through.

Over the years, we have learned there is no right or wrong way to muddle through the minor illnesses of life. We no longer expect each other to respond to illness in the same way we do. We still, at times, find ourselves making conscious decisions to be patient and compassionate, especially during those times we secretly find the other to be a bit much. Yet that is exactly what living our marriage vows demands: daily conscious decisions to act in loving ways. And as we grow older, we are also finding that the way we handle minor illnesses is good practice for the time when major illnesses slam into our lives, as chances are they will at some point in time slam into most everyone’s lives.

How do you handle minor illnesses—your own and/or your spouse’s? Can you see an opportunity to live what you promised on your wedding day?